All is not well. People can feel it in the air when they watch the nightly news, and when they look at all of the recent loss in our little community here in Southeast Iowa. False platitudes like "keep your chin up" don't seem to work anymore (if in fact they ever did). It's time to address the elephant in the room, and see if God has something to say for those who are truly grieving. We feel the pervasive threat of something unwell stirring all around us, and it's natural to look to the Bible for an explanation.
Friends, family, and co-workers have passed away recently. Some were quite young, with their entire lives ahead of them. Whether it be cancer or COVID, the fact remains: families and churches are grieving.
One thing that I take comfort in is that the Bible doesn't say we need to pretend that everything is okay. We need not pretend to be strong when we aren't. Psalm 73:26 says this, "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." I think it is quite an accurate statement sometimes to say that God is the only constant in our lives, when all other things have failed us.
Likewise Romans 8:22 says: "We know that the whole creation has been groaning as in the pains of childbirth right up to the present time." And we can feel this groaning, can't we? Earthquakes, tsunamis, severe storms all across the globe. In fact I recall sheltering in the basement from a derecho in December last year. Instead of snow and ice, we had wind and hail. Almost like the Earth is grieving also.
It is true to say that loss is a temporary state - it's only possible in this temporal and material realm. Once in heaven, God promises us through Scripture that there will be no more crying or grieving, as that is the old order of things. But while we are here on Earth, loss and grief are no less poignant. There is often no medicine for this ailment. All that remains to do is press on, placing one foot in front of the other. It seems easier on some days, while nearly impossible on others.
Grief has no shelf life, therefore it should not ever be dismissed. We may hear something or see a picture twenty years later, and it all comes flooding back. I remember watching home movies on old videotape with my family when I was much younger. One scene showed my grandfather for just a quick moment (he had been gone for years at that point). The entire room fell silent. It was like we were all back at the funeral again. When it comes to loss, time doesn't matter.
Sufficed to say, I don't think we really move on from loss, so much as we move forward with grief. Someone wrote an article about this concept once, and I have adopted that phrasing. I think it is quite true. Grief isn't something that we just shake off; it changes us from the inside out. That's kind of the point though, isn't it? How else can we deal with a loved one who we can no longer call or write? We have no other option but to be changed.
And so we move forward as a community. Many of us are walking on our journey of grief as if we are alone, but this isn't the case. There are others who knew the person we knew, and who loved them as well. They are still around to talk to, and to check in with. We have stories and so do they ... and we can share them together in a risk free exchange of thoughts and memories. Many will tell you that the deceased person is still there with you in your heart, but that is a platitude. I think they are actually there in the shared space of grief and memory that exists only in community between people who knew and remembered that individual. During these meetings, the one who passed on stirs alive once again in a certain type of way that cannot be replicated elsewhere.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4 says, "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God." Notice that there is a directive couched within this piece of text. It mentions us comforting others in the same way that God might comfort us. We grieve as a community, or at least in fellowship together. That is how we get through, and that is how we move forward I think. There is simply no reason to be sad by ourselves.
We become able to give help, only when we accept help. I don't think anyone was ever meant to grieve in a vacuum. But one thing remains certain - we are forever changed when someone we know and love leaves this Earthly realm. Even the hope of salvation and eternal life seems only to go so far sometimes, at least in terms of our personal comfort. They have gone to be with God the Father, now it is the duty of those who remain to press on. The good news is we can do it together.
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