I should disclose here that we didn't have my parents' approval. Did I mention that it sounded like a good idea at the time?
I feel I must bring the reader up to speed at this point, otherwise you may think me a rather undisciplined child. It all started from engaging in innocent conversation with my uncle about ecosystems and nature. You see, he was a county conservationist at the time; complete with a city truck and neat patches and badges on his uniform. It was too much for me to ignore as a ten-year-old child. I was enamored with all of it! My uncle may as well have worn a super hero's cape and mask for all I knew.
During one of our discussions, I probed him a bit regarding just how to construct a farm pond. I had always enjoyed fishing, and this seemed like the perfect way to build my own little hatchery. I asked him about the materials needed, the length of time, and all the necessary accoutrements. None of this was his fault you understand. No, he didn't realize what I was up to. I was taking mental notes the whole time. As soon as the opportunity availed itself, it was off to work I went on the garden.
The digging lasted well into late afternoon. There was much to be done, even for two people!
I can still remember one very curious thing to this day, however. As the sun began to set on my new half finished farm pond, my mother's car pulled into the driveway. My young accomplice took off toward home on his bicycle as fast as his feet would pedal. It was just me standing there with a shovel now. But to my great surprise, my mother decided to forgive my error in judgment almost immediately. In fact, she thought the whole debacle rather humorous.
I thought to myself, "Wow, I got lucky here." My only penance was to put all the dirt back into the giant hole I had dug only hours earlier. I did so with a smile on my face. This was one of my very first experiences with grace. No doubt I should have been punished. But instead, my mother simply laughed it off, and set me to work restoring what I had torn up.
And so the question occurs to me: how do we view God's grace in our own lives? How do we think of His unmerited favor as adults ... or as teenagers? Is our concept of God benevolent, utilitarian, or something different? In our eyes, would He have laughed it off, or punished us severely for a similar mistake?
I am often reminded of the story about Simon Peter and Jesus in the Bible. You may remember that the New Testament records Peter pretending not to know Jesus three times. Who could blame him really? It was during the awful kangaroo court trial that the Pharisees subjected Christ to, after capturing him in the garden of Gethsemane.
People kept coming up to Peter and asking if he knew that prisoner (Jesus). Peter unceremoniously denied knowing the Son of God three times. He was scared; his lord and master had been arrested and dragged into court. Would you and I do any better? Hard to say.
Later in the Gospels we are given this interesting account of a conversation Jesus had with Peter after the resurrection. Knowing how guilty Peter must have felt for denying him only days earlier, John 21:15-17 says, "When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?' 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.' Again Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord, you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.' The third time he said to him, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?''"
Popular scholarship seems to suggest that Jesus was encouraging Peter in this way by repeating the question three times, in order to reconcile all three of this disciple's earlier denials. Instead of punishing Simon Peter, Jesus reminded him of his importance to the church, and gave him a job to do. Feed the sheep (head up the church). Peter was experiencing grace and favor from God, when he could have easily warranted anger and bitterness instead.
You may also remember another character who helped set the stage as well. Judas Iscariot can be contrasted to Peter in many ways. Although both were followers of the Messiah, the two men had very different intentions. The Gospels tell us that Judas sold Jesus out to the authorities for money. That he then regretted his decision, but that it was too late. Accounts tell us that he bought a field with the 'blood money' and later hung himself. This, by stark contrast to Peter's situation, is an example of remorse without repentance or healing. Judas did not allow himself to be forgiven, nor did he seek after God. His story unfolded as so many others do today: sin followed by regret and remorse, without healing or repentance. Trust me folks, there is a better way.
I would like to say that I firmly believe we have an example here of two different ways of understanding God's grace. Judas' way points us to what I have called in the past a Grace-less Gospel. This is a way of understanding Scripture that sets us up to view the Bible as a rule book. People trapped in a grace-less existence often feel like they are never good enough, or that they can never measure up to God. Hopelessness and guilt often result.
What we see with Peter is very different. He didn't allow his regret to stop him from coming back to be with the risen Jesus after the resurrection. I believe this is an example of the Grace-filled Gospel. This method of understanding God points us to repentance, and then forgiveness. Not only did Jesus accept Peter back, but he also told him he was to help 'feed his sheep' and build the church. It was a completely different outcome this time. Peter then goes on to be one of the primary leaders in this fledgling first century religion that would eventually change the world.
As people of God, we have the chance to use grace as our primary currency. While other secular organizations often fall back on power or money, the Christian church can stand apart and be unique. We can demonstrate to the outside world the notion of a grace-filled Gospel. We can forgive each other. We can repent from sin and be healed. We can help remind the world that the Bible is so much more than just another rule book. We can be different ... even special.
My parents have long since moved out of that house I used to live in as a child. I often wonder if that little garden is still back behind the garage. Probably not. For all I know, it could be a concrete patio by now. No matter - the lesson stuck with me regardless. Time to pass it on to my own children I suppose. Spring is just around the corner ... time to decide what to plant in my own garden. Or maybe build a farm pond instead?
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