In so many ways, this is the 'New America', and I don't mean just social distancing and increased use of hand sanitizer. With the civil unrest that is occurring right now by groups of people protesting in public places, fear of rioting and looting, as well as layers of racial division being revealed in America - it is tempting for many to simply give up on society, lock their doors, and stay home. Late night talk show host Stephen Colbert once said, "Racism is America's pre-existing condition."
I can think of no other time in recent history, when the ability to extend grace and understanding to each other has been more important. During the terrorist attack on domestic soil on September 11, 2001, there was almost immediate unity in America. After Islamic terrorist groups flew airplanes into the World Trade Center in New York City, I remember this strange feeling of anger, that soon gave way to a collective call for Americans to unite and be strong. To put aside differences, and come together against a common enemy of the state. But things seem different now. The COVID-19 virus, the fear of economic collapse, and the undercurrent of racial discord create almost the perfect environment for people to stop listening to each other. Unity isn't what appears to be taking place. What a time it could be to show empathy and love to others, instead of propagating hate and anxiety.
John 1:16 grants us wisdom when it says, "Out of his [Jesus] fullness we have all received grace in place of grace already given." This statement comes right after we are introduced to John the Baptist's testimony about the soon coming Christ.
Likewise, 2 Peter 1:2 says, "Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord." The knowledge - the chance learn about and follow God - can lead us directly to a state of being that incorporates grace. Grace not only freely given to you and I from God, but the expectation that this grace will be extended to other people also ... even if the rest of the world has fallen into relative chaos.
Now this is a tall order; not easy to do at all. But as I move through these difficult times like everyone else, I would like to offer three ways that you and I can show grace under pressure. The first thing to remember is that the Bible exhorts us to be slow to speak under most circumstances - so I would like to recommend that we Listen first. The simple act of listening to another human being fully and in committed fashion, allows us to get a handle on not only what they are going through, but what they are feeling. As a good portion of impatience and frustration stems from emotionally charged environments, sitting quietly and listening seeks to accept the other person's viewpoint as important and meaningful (no matter the content of that view might be).
Second, it is wise to Learn the other person's perspective. It involves something referred to years ago as 'flipping the script' (i.e.: switching a situation up and placing yourself in their shoes). This takes determination and effort, but it almost always pays off. For example, before you make a cavalier comment on social media about the coronavirus, place yourself in the perspective of other people who may be more vulnerable or frightened than you. Similarly, prior to commenting negatively about the protests going on across our nation, put yourself in the position of a person of color, who has had to experience a lifetime of unfair treatment and discrimination. Many indulge themselves in the lure of being an armchair quarterback, but few take the time to learn and really understand the other person's experiences. It's always easier to interpret life through the lens of our own opinion.
Finally, Love always. The apostle Paul tells us that no matter how many great things we have done for the church or for God, if we don't have love, then we don't have anything. Love seeks to extend both grace and kindness; it actually does something. It commands us to listen, learn, and then to act or respond in some fashion commensurate with Jesus Christ. What Would Jesus Do was a catchphrase years ago, but I find it often falls short in certain areas. Let's ask rather: what would you and I do now, knowing what Jesus did for us? Are we listening to each other with God's heart, or are we being divisive and cynical.
This dialogue often reminds me of John Wesley's three simple rules that the Methodist Church strives to live by. They are as follows: do no harm, do good, and stay in love with God. Although the third edict was shortened from it's original state (which used to say 'observe all the ordinances of God') ... it is impactful nonetheless. Listen to people, then seek to empathize with them, and then respond with love and grace.
By the way, this doesn't automatically mean that you must then agree with them. In fact, a good many folks with whom I have disagreed vehemently about certain things, won my respect because they took the time to understand my position at the outset, instead of trying to dominate the discussion with their own opinion first. It may end up that I eventually agree with what they are saying, or it may not. But the fact remains that I felt respected and valued as a person first and foremost. Would this not change the tide in most high pressure situations? Would this not de-escalate most arguments?
The truth of the matter is this - if we do not offer other people grace, then we shouldn't expect it in return. We should not be surprised if the order of the day is hate speech or fear. If the Christian church does not extend the grace and peace of Jesus Christ, then we will not draw people to God. If you can remember a time in your life when you were hurting, and someone listened to you, learned your perspective, and then reacted with love - then revel in it. And by all means, pay it forward.
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